marriages

Marriage is a socially accepted union of two individuals. in ancient time everybody used to enjoy this event. but then came the time time when wedding become burdon for poor core group(close frrind , relative and family) and others still enjoy it but now a days weddings really sucks.

Because many have to take leave from office to travel long distances away from their family wasting so much  amount of time, energy and money.

we can see a wedding from the perspective of those who are outside core group, but they are guests only came for food or other obligations. Marriage has noting to do with them. So we exclude their views of less salt in vegetable and lavatory being far away.

But the perspective of core group matters.

The core group has to take the marriage at war footings and have no time to sleep and rest, leave aside laughing and enjoying. They take rest at the end and can say that all went well, then there can be some backbiting that she said that and he did that.

But even more pathetic is the situation of groom and bride(dont know much ), because on their life's most important day they sit with hungry stomach, in uncomfortable dresses that too in front of fire.
That's why most marriages are held in winters and in south india, mostly early mornings, are chosen.


I am not writing to explain the problems associated with this once in a lifetime event  but to put the beautiful side of it. the beautiful side i enjoyed when i happen to visit a marriage in Delhi. It was a beautiful venue with nicely dressed people. But what shocked me the most was that groom was on the Ghodi and was laughing, enjoying and feeling friendship, relations and much more. I could not believe my eyes, and brushed them again and again. But to my surprise he was laughing and now even dancing. I was witnessing a marriage which i think i had never witnessed again till date. But many can say that it was all about money and every marriage is not full of that and after many years of college we have to manage with lesser friends.

But after few years I again witnessed  such a marriage in which the groom was  happy and enjoying every bit of his moments. This time groom was not very rich, might not have known his to-be and was not surrounded by too many friends. Yet no line of fear and anger on his face. He was enjoying drinks with his friends, wearing comfortable suit, joking with pundit, always ready for photoclicks,  dancing on the beat of DJ and above all he was laughing throughout. I recalled that marriage of delhi just to  saw that here money was not flowing and  there were people who always ask difficult questions about life and future. They spared  Mr. groom this time.

Now sitting in library what I want to end up with is that a marriage is about two people and they must remain happy throughout that course of auspicious  celebration. They must not think about all the worldly problems of food, relatives, camera, transport, etc. JUST chill,  its a moment bigger then your birth and death. And as a friend we must remind them to enjoy. 

up elections

after a huge majority in elections in uttarpradesh bjp has announced its chief minister also.
as i have been studying about india for a long time and can say a few words about it , though not having any speciality in uttarpradesh.
what i think is that up represents whole of india in many ways such as population ,  rivers and poverty , which gave rise to lowest level of politics.
but the most important question is the relation between hindus and muslims in up and the evolving dynamics from a hindu who is also cm of up.
we have to understand from three angles , first is if yogi consider UPits as citizens of india only and no discrimination based on religion  as such.
the second case can be reflected in his deeds as being pro-hindu in which there can be more temples and less of cow slaughtering.
but the third is very dangerous in which the CM can appear to be anti-muslim. if anything like this happens then it will not only be a great danger for BJP but also for the whole of democracy.

but we have to analyse all the three in detail.
the first approach was followed by gandhiji and his comrades who considered people to be indians only and take steps for eradicating necessary evils from hindu's society for example untouchability.
but the result was spread of communalism and division of country in the end. Had they chosen path for giving more to muslims might have worked and kept our country intact. But the question of giving and conceding was never in the debate because it was politics, working in, and not economis or society.

let us understand the second aspect that is being pro hindu and not being anti musim. this is very difficult to understand because the minority feeling will always be there to remind us that certain rights are under threat. after all this is how democracy works. But i would like to consider this aspect in the light of few examples. It is a known fact that in india muslims have bullied hindus for really long. for example the bollywood industry, the mafia's of underworld, the attitude of maulvi of a small town who think that it is his right to speak in early morning over mic at 4 am, when everybody is sleeping and those coming to prayer are not more than 5 or 6. these things have happened due to lack of deepening of democracy and lack of conversation between people about their problems and hence emergenec of leaders who are insensitive towards developmental goals. these leaders are real appeasers and protect the interests of few in return of votes. So if we have a CM who is anti pro- hindu and not anti muslim then we can curb this tendency of bullying the majority. For example can hindus of Pakistan think of such behaviour in Pakistan. we value the moment when we know that there can be worse than that. so this can be a reminder for muslims that things can go wrong and future politicans can remind that there used to be a time. this can be like a shock therapy for million of ignorant indians who have never faced tragedies of politics such as people face during civil wars in libia, iraq, syria, etc.

the third and last is the ultimate damage that a country can do to itself. as after partition Jinnah wanted to align his country away from religious lines, but was sidelined. because ultimately freedom is required not to be shackled back into religious lines. As freedom comprises of options, choices, alternatives, liberty, etc in decision making. for example i want to be a painter but the religion does not allow that. or i want to be film actor but religion does not allow that. so if the lines taken by new CM are intersecting with secular interests of muslims and so the ecomony or society then this politics will prove to be detrimental for the country as a whole and we can wait for the disasters  be mentioned  in history for coming generations.


the primary duty of the  chief minister is to maintain the functioning of state as per the constitutional mandates. for that welfare of masses and respective developmental activities are a sinquonon. But UP is a special case where along with the  primary function of CM , yogi has to maintain the anti-communal stance. This stance if followed might have prevented partition of india. this anti communal stance is characterized by reaching out to public for their support in developmental activities and letting them know that the government is secular by advertisment and proper communication between government and those who are governed.
we must not only be secular but seem to be secular. so that unethical and immoral politics may not creep in.

as far as construction of ram mandir is there it is no big deal. a muslim living around there may earn  more from a shop of prasad and can find it better than few policemen placed near his shop. but the problem creeps in when only hindus are allowed shops around that area.... and area can be very big...like the whole UP or india.

so the essence of story is a person can be a muslim, UPite, english speaker, vegiterian, lgbt supporter, mother and her name can be Sita. so we must stop being judgemental and must mind our own businesses of value addition in our lives.